I'm anti-marriage on an intensely personal level. That is to say, I have no problems with other people getting married - if it's what feels right, then do it. By intensely personal, I mean that I don't believe it's right for me. Back when I was young and stupid, I entered into an extremely ill-advised, short-lived marriage. Those 10 months were some of the worst of my life. I was pressured into accepting the proposal, and things basically went downhill from there. I lost one of my best friends, and nearly lost my identity as "me," as Megan. Thankfully, I got hired on at City Park, met Jeremy, and began regaining my self. I had told the guy in the beginning that I wasn't the marriage type, that I thought it was an outmoded and outdated institution, and that I'd seen far too many marriages fail. However, like I said, I was pressured into it, and was beyond thankful when I was finally able to make my escape.
That being said, like I said, I have no problems with other people getting married. If it's what you want to do, then do it. Just don't expect me to. What I have with Jeremy works for us, and I see no sense in fixing something that isn't already broken. I really don't need a piece of paper to reassure me that what we have is something we'll have for a while. Also, should the day come in the future where what we have isn't working, I'd like him to be able to seek his happiness elsewhere, with as little hassle as possible.
Related to this: The topic of prenups crossed my mind today. Now, granted, they are something I'll never have to deal with. However, to me, they represent everything that's wrong with the entire institution of marriage today.
Let's think about it for a minute. A prenuptial agreement, simply, is a piece of paper that both parties sign that basically states how joint properties are to be divided in the event of a divorce. They are designed to protect the involved parties' premarital assets.
If you enter into a venture with the idea that it's going to fail, it most likely will. And isn't that basically what a prenup is? "So, I'm vowing to be with you till one of us dies, but just in case, I'd like to keep the Corvette and the summer home."
I'm sorry, and maybe I'm looking at this from an erroneous perspective, being that I grew up poor and am still poor, but doesn't that go against all the ideals with which you are supposed to enter a marriage?
Marriage is supposed to be something entered into in a spirit of love and trust. You're vowing to be with your partner through thick and thin, sickness and health, rich or broke, blah blah blah. Drawing up something as cold and heartless and factual as a prenup speaks to me of a lack of trust. They call marriage "taking the plunge," but I don't remember ever hearing anything about taking a lifejacket along.
If you don't trust your partner, if you don't think the marriage will survive, if you think there's a possibility they're just in it for the money, the house, the car, etc, then why get married in the first place?
Here's another thing. Marriage, as I've said, is between two people. They join together to create a family. If you aren't enough of an adult to stand on your own, to make your own decisions, you probably shouldn't get married. If you can't give over the biggest portion of your heart to your intended, can't take your wallet and your bank account out of the equation, are too concerned with making sure you come out ahead to daydream wholeheartedly about the life you intend to create with your affianced, and if you constantly mix up "fiance" with "finance," you probably shouldn't get married.
Why do I think marriage is unnecessary? Because it's supposed to be about love. Love between two people. This country has not only made it so that only heterosexual couples can get married (despite the fact that homosexuals have just as much right to a life of wedded bliss or misery as any straight people do), and beyond that, they've turned it from a symbol of love to a cold-blooded business transaction, and it makes me sick.
I might be headed straight for hell for living in sin, but at least I'll know when I get there that my sin was lived in an environment of love, and not one of tax write-offs.
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