Another Couple of Older Poems

**This was written to baby brother, eight years ago, so please forgive the awkwardness of its structure and composition - I was 20 years old, going to adult ed to get my high school diploma, and working full time as a cook too.

Andrew
originally written 8-4-02

Sunshine dances circles in deep brown eyes
thin shoulders quiver with little-boy glee
but too much practice at saying goodbyes
especially in one so young as he.
Joy shines around him with no effort made
his happiness he shares with open hands
his intentions honest, and they don't fade
leaps off the couch, and in my arms he lands.
I always try to catch him when he falls
he always says, "I love you lots, May-may"
my heart bursts with love and pride when he calls
he hugs me tight at the end of each stay.
My little man, I'd give ten years away
of my life, if it meant you'd always stay.

                                                  me and Andrew, summer of 2002




*** I used to try to write song lyrics, despite the fact that I have no musical composition ability whatsoever. This one was written back when I still had the luxury of being pissed off and had time to write about it.

So you took a couple steps
never dreaming you could fall
and thinking you're all grown-up
didn't work out after all
such a pity when you find out
things won't always go your way
and the dreams that you've been keeping
only lead you far astray.

chorus:
Daddy's little princess better grow up quick
all your vanity, self-flattery has only made us sick
twisted webs of self-deceit, and no defeat could hold you back
when reason and a conscience are the only things you lack.

So you flirted with the guys
tossed your hair and drove them mad
led them on till they all grew bored
and then you thought, "Hey, this ain't bad"
empty vows laying discarded
on your filthy bedroom floor
while your parents gave you all they could
but you thought you deserved more.

chorus

You scorned the love of Mom and Dad
the gifts they tried to give
rejected them, embarrassed them
and the life they'd hoped you'd live
free of stains like lies and cowardice
and theft from those who care
they kept saying that they love you
you pretended they weren't there.

chorus

You spout your tired rhetoric
of "no one loves me, I'm alone,"
systematically destroying
the only true home that you've known
you treat us all like servants
worse than that, indentured slaves
while we tell ourselves, "Get used to it,
it's just how she behaves."

chorus

And you think you're independent
all grown up, a child no more
and if the chance arises
you'll be running for the door
because your family is awful
home life "shitty" at the best
you tell yourself that often
think you're better than the rest.

chorus

There's a warning I should give you
though I doubt you'll even hear
you're a petty, shallow person
not the child I once held dear
you'll be out there in that big, cruel world
with no friends to call your own
and that's when you'll start to hate yourself
for burning the bridge to your old home.

chorus

Daddy's little girl better wake up pretty quick
yeah, your vanity, self-flattery has made us all quite sick
spin your webs of self-deceit, 'cuz no defeat could hold you back
since logic and a conscience are the only things you lack.

originally written 10-30-03