Day 1 (music of choice: Ninja High School)

Day 1: Something I hate about myself.

Wow. I usually spend so much time trying to remind myself of all the things I love about myself in order to keep that good ol' self-esteem up that this topic is going to be interesting. Time to let the demons loose.

I have the concept in my head...how do I phrase it?

Oh yeah. Here it is.


I hate that every time I've made the decision to truly give my loyalty to a job, I've gotten screwed in one way or another. Usually emotionally.

Yes, this is the nature of the restaurant industry. Yes, I should be tough. I am, most days.

There have been a few jobs that I loved dearly. Truly loved. I gave my heart to the company, gave it my loyalty, spent precious time at home, where you should check your job at the door, doing research and pondering and practicing and trying to get better.

Sage. Yeah, I've stated ad nauseum how much I loved working there. Guess what? They rejected me. Apparently (this is my inference), I was good enough to pitch in over the summer and during hell week and after the one guy got fired, but just not good enough to keep around. Despite the chef telling me he'd teach me everything he knew, that I was a "good person who deserved a break," that he'd "like to be the one to give you [me] that break," and that he really hoped I got the job. In the end, he hired someone else.
Sage is a damn good restaurant. The food is awesome. It was a trip while it lasted. I miss working there. It's the nature of the beast to get beat out by someone better, and I imagine that that's what happened. But after all the sweet things the chef said to me, the way he kept telling me to keep in touch, a damn email from him would have been nice. I love Pepe for caring enough about me to pop my little bubble. He's an amazing friend and a good person to have in your corner, and he has some of the best jokes in the world. But yeah, it still hurts. Probably will for a while.

So in a very long-winded way, that's what I hate about myself the most. That I care too much about certain jobs/workplaces when I really should know by now that I'll just end up incinerated.